My Shower, My Sanctuary  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , ,

Alright, things have gotten waaay out of control!  I was doing some thinking last night (and yes, it hurt my brain) and realized that I hadn't showered for a day and a half.  Gross!  So this thought naturally led me to wonder where things got so out of control that I don't even shower everyday.  Have I seriously given up so much to raise my kids that even my showers are far and few between?  

If you're a SAHM, I'm sure (at least I'm hoping anyway) that I can't be alone in this.  I miss my private shower time!  My showers are the only place that I seem to be able to have one continuous thought from beginning to end.  Normally my train of thought gets derailed by a spilled glass of sticky something or a fragrant butt running around.  

It's so nice to be able to stand in there and just, even if it's for 15 minutes, be by myself.  I often find myself standing in there under the running water daydreaming.  You know those thoughts that we all have that always start with 'what if'?  Like what if I hadn't met my husband and had kids, what would I be doing?  What if I put the kids in daycare and went back to work?  What if I lost 100 lbs, do you think I could wash down the drain and make a clean break for it?

It's always somewhere around this point that reality slaps me in the face in the form of an empty hot water heater.  Darn it, do I really have to get out and hit the ground running again?  Oh well, at least I got my shower!

A New Bra Or Is Something Else In Order???  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , , , ,

I recently have become not so fond of this thing we call 'gravity'. Gravity is not my friend! I was getting dressed the other day and realized that I had not bought a new bra (other than ones that have peek-a-boo flaps for nursing) in quite a long time. In such a long time in fact, that I can't remember the act of actually purchasing a bra. This is sad. Very, very sad. So, being that I leave the house as little as possible due to the circus of acrobatics it takes to get myself and the kids out of the house without somebody being hungry, poopy or having an absolute meltdown, I waited until I had several things to get at the store and then went to my fave store, Target! And just for clarification, I'm normally the one having the meltdown, not the poopy one.



Anywho, I picked out a few practical (non-husband pleasing) bras and went to try them on. First let me tell you how incredibly wrong it is to put mirrors on 3 of the 4 walls in the dressing room. There are parts of myself I just don't care to see, thank you very much. A man clearly designed the dressing rooms. He also decided that along with the 3 mirrors, it would be funny to accompany them with florescent lighting. At this point I'm still fully dressed and already scared and can't believe I left the house with this face on!





I figure I'm here, I may as well do what I came to do. So I take off the pathetic garment I dare to claim as my bra and.....there they go....right to the floor. Darn Einstein and Issac Newton for discovering the principals of gravity! (As if they hadn't my boobs wouldn't be bruising my knees.) Now I knew that after my having three kids that things weren't where they use to be, but this is down right ridiculous. Curse these mirrors and florescent lights! Yes, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!



So I stand there for a good minute or two just looking at myself in awe, and not a good awe, a bad awe, a very bad awe. It was at this point that I started wondering, is it a bra I should be shopping for or possibly tube socks to tuck them into? Or even worse, perhaps I should be looking for a bra labeled like men's pants, 34W 36L? That should work...right? Maybe for the winter I can have my grandma knit a giant tube to tuck them in and I can just wear them around my neck to keep warm.



After I'm done gawking at myself I pick up the first bra and start thinking of a plan of attack. After all, this bra isn't broken in (worn out) and use to my tetherball boobs. This is a new one and it has no idea what it's in for, poor thing. So should I start with the fail safe bend over and let 'em hang and scoop them up with the bra or go with the more hands on approach of the firm grab, lift and plop it in? I chose the latter of the two. The entire time I'm trying these bra's on, my two toddlers are just staring at me. No words spoken, but their faces said it all. My oldest, Kaden had to be wondering 'why mommy's naked in this little room grabbing those jiggly things' and my youngest, Cameron was just staring at the jiggly things trying to concoct a plan of attack for grabbing one.



I tried on several bra's this day with results ranging from the wonderful uni-boob we all know and love, all the way to Madonna on her Blonde Ambition tour with the world famous pointy bra. Needless to say, I left the store with copy paper, milk and a roll of pink duct tape. Perhaps I just found useful purpose #6 for pink duct tape.

Like A Fine Wine, I Have Aged Yet Another Year  

Posted by: Crystal in , , ,

Well, it's pretty much come and gone...my birthday! Yep, I'm officially one year closer to the big 3-0 and while I can't say there's anything nostalgic about turning 29, I can say I'm happy to still be a twenty-something. And to answer the proverbial question of "do you feel any older"? As you all know, of course you don't feel older simply because it's your birthday.



I will say that I don't even feel 29. When you think about it, what is age other than a number? What if nobody ever kept track of your birthday and when you were born? How old would you say you are if the only thing you had to base it off of is how you feel? If I had to put an age on me, I'd have to say I feel about 23.



I often joke that I can't believe I'm in charge of raising kids, but it's true. I still feel so child-like myself that the very thought that I have been handed the gift of raising children is almost frightful. I guess on the upside, feeling young means that I still enjoy playing and running around with my kids and that in and of itself is irreplaceable.



Well readers, it's time for me to get my old butt in bed. Goodnight all! Have a blessed night and a beautiful morning!

A Good Day It Turned Out To Be  

Posted by: Crystal in , , ,


Well, I'm back from my self-pity sabbatical and ready to ride the blogging waves once again. Tonight's the night before my birthday and although the day started off a little rocky, it ended up great. My husband took me shopping and then out to dinner and now back home to watch a couple movies. I'm contemplating a glass of wine and then some snuggling with my hubby.


The last few days of feeling quite useless and down right depressed has showed me just how much I truly depend on my husband to gauge my mood. I'm not quite sure why it is that I feed off of him so much, but I seem not to be able to control it. It seems as though if I don't get enough of his time or attention it puts me in an odd place. It makes me miss him like crazy which in turn makes me depressed. Part of me thinks this must be somewhat normal being that I love him and if I didn't miss him, that would be more of a problem. The other part of me thinks that I'm a grown woman, not a 13 year old girl. What business do I have getting all depressed when I can't see my husband? On the other hand, it is nice that I still get those 13 year old butterflies in my stomach when he comes home and know he's all mine. I just wish I had more of those times.


You know something, my husband isn't perfect, but neither am I and if he were perfect, I wouldn't want him anyway. Sometimes he pisses me off like nobody else can, but most of the time he loves me like nobody else ever could. I love him like no other and if I could remarry him everyday for the rest of our lives, I would.

Overwhelmed And Under Appreciated  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , , , ,

Well today has been kind of a mixed bag of emotions. It's just been one of those days when all of the stresses that you've been pushing aside come tumbling down on you. Generally I do as all SAHM's do and slap a happy face on and go about my day despite how I may be feeling physically or emotionally. Today I just couldn't. I was incredibly short tempered and it took all I had to pry myself off the couch to care for the kids.

Cleaning the house was a whole different story. I could have swore the kids were secretly plotting and working against me. They thought it would be a good idea to dump the crumbs from the cracker box all over the hardwood floors. Just freaking adorable! So I took that opportunity to vacuum. I started in one area and was working my way over towards the majority of the crumbs. It was at that point my little genius's decided to come running through the crumbs right over to the area I just vacuumed. They're so lucky I love them! I then moved on to their room. This normally goes pretty quick since I have little bins for everything. Today I noticed it to be going quite a bit faster than usual which was strange since their room was an absolute mess. No complaints from me, the faster the better! Whew, all done...going to sit back down now....or so I thought. My children have become looters! The entire time I was cleaning their room they were sneaking toys out into the living room. The living room in which I had just cleaned! I gave up!

While I was cleaning the house I did happen to notice that when my lovely husband made cinnamon rolls this morning he couldn't walk 3 steps to the right to throw the packaging away. Nor could he remove his tennis shoes or work boots from the middle of the living room (which I'm almost sure he had to of measured to get them in the exact right spot to ensure maximum trippage). When installing the boys new DVD player the other night he knocked over just about every decorative object on their entertainment center and didn't bother to even attempt to put them back. Things like this make me wonder if marriage is just the governments glamorous idea for adopting grown men out to responsible women to keep them under control. You've got to admit, most, if not all men are just over grown teenagers.

Now please don't get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband dearly. Today was just the day that I happened to realize just how much I run in circles doing and redoing things for other people while I have a lot of things on my to-do list that never seem to get done because everybody else always comes first. This brings me to wonder why is it that I find everybody else so important that they come first and foremost before anything and everything, but I have yet to find one person to put themselves aside for me?

I have so many things to do, no energy to do it and to be quite honest, when I think about it I get so overwhelmed that I just say screw it, tomorrow's another day. It's a vicious cycle which I can't seem to get out of. The support of my husband is imperative right now and he's just not there for me. Bottom line is that my life is heading down a road I don't like and I can't turn it around alone.

Let's hope tomorrow's a better day!

Was There Life Before Kids?  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , ,

Have you ever been lucky enough to have the Hubby or Grandma take the kids for the day and leave you to have a day off? A what, you say? A day off, ladies. Let me explain... It's one of those things that people in the normal workforce get about every five days or so and then don't go back to their "job" for about two days and then complain about it. They even get paid for it if you can believe it! Poor babies!

Anyway, my point here is that my lovely husband decided to take the kids for a few hours today and give mommy a well needed break. I was so excited that I got the boys ready in record time and even managed to forget to pack the diaper bag. Bad mommy! I'm sure he'll figure it out. So I give everybody hugs and kisses, close the door behind them, turn around annnnnnnnnnnnnd what in the world do I do with myself now? Oh wait, listen, what's that sound? Could it be? I think it is. Yes, yes it is. I can hear myself thinking. I haven't heard that in years. In fact.....look! There! In the distance! My train of thought actually has a caboose!

Suddenly I'm thinking this "break" thing might not be so bad. So I sit down on the couch (any darn part of it I please, too!) and start flipping channels looking for something non-animated to watch thinking a woman could really get use to this! Then I got bored...fast! So I figured taking a shower with no urgency to get out might be nice. I might actually be able to wash my hair and shave in one shower! That would nice...and it was.

Fast forward a few hours... My husband and kids are still gone, I'm bored like nothing you've ever seen before and I'm ridiculously lonely. I'm not sure if this is normal or absolutely nuts. It honestly makes me wonder what in the world did I do with myself before I had kids? For the life of me I can't think of one important thing I did before being a mom, but I was always busy. I'm almost 29 years old and my best friends are 7, 3 and 18 months. Without them I have no life. They literally are my heart, my entire being, all that I am, walking around on the outside simply to beautify this world. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world, but it's also the most rewarding. I wouldn't change it for anything.

Pink Duct Tape  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , ,

So, I was doing some shopping one day at the local craft store and happened upon several rolls of brightly colored duct tape. Along side were some fliers with some do-it-yourself craft ideas of things you can do with the duct tape. Some of the idea's were to make purses, wallets and a bunch of other silly things that no normal person would ever actually use in a million years. I'll apologize now if you're reading this and not a normal person and currently have a duct tape purse with a duct tape wallet inside. That's a sticky situation to be in. Anyway, I carried on my way continually thinking how ridiculous of a person you must be to make and then actually walk down the street with a flippin duct tape purse! Seriously, I, a mother of 3, two of which are with me and are by this time beginning to act up, can think right off the top of my head of about 5 good uses for that wonderfully fashionable pink duct tape.

Are you with me moms? Here we go:

1.)Shopping carts/high chairs with broken seat belts
2.)Keep toddlers in bed after their 23rd trip to the potty and their 12th drink of water
3.)Assisting your child in keeping their hands to themselves
4.)What can't be child proofed with duct tape? Nothing!

And of course, the obvious...

5.)Silence is golden...momma's duct tape is pink!

Nothing Could Have Ever Prepared Me  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , ,

Boys, aren't they grand? Remember the old poem "Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice and boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails"? Well, now that I am a mother to both, I can without doubt, say that poem was indeed not made up by some cruel little girl on the playground, but rather by a very well educated mother of a very average little boy.

I have been blessed with not one, but two angel faced little boys that are just shy of two years apart. This makes my life of a stay at home mom more than interesting. I have recently (about 2 months ago) started potty training my older son. This makes for fun times! Being that I obviously don't possess these parts I was a bit intimidated and confused, but went head on just as I did with my daughter assuming it's the same principal... get the pee in the potty. He seemed really excited and caught on fairly quickly with few accidents. We then moved on to: DUN DUN DUN, put the poo in the potty!

Here is where the excitement begins. He was very, very reluctant with this step of the potty training process. Every time I asked him to remember to go poop in the potty he said "I can't, it's to hard". I had no idea what that meant, but I just kept encouraging him. Finally, low and behold, a blood curdling scream from the restroom "I pooed in the potty!" I come running in to a sight no mother should ever have to see, but I feel I should share with you anyway. I hope all of you can picture this to the best of your ability. A freshly pooped, non-wiped three year old standing proudly upon his stool, bent over, rear facing, waiting for me to do my motherly duties. I felt so honored!

Now one might think this is a one time thing, but oh no, not for my son! My son comes up with a new one everyday! Like the day I found him diaper-less appearing to be 'chasing his tail'. I asked him what he was doing and he said while pointing at his rear end "the poop comes out of there". What in the world do you say to that? Is there a book or something of responses when you find yourself completely speechless? If not, there certainly should be!

Now this is why dads need to be involved with the potty training process with boys: Because moms don't know off hand to make sure when pulling up the pull-up to make sure the little pieces are in the down position. This is important because if it's in the up position and an accident occurs, it will shoot right out the top of the pull-up. I am speaking from first hand experience. Also, who knew that little boys, if given an opportunity will play with their extra appendages? I didn't think this started until they were older, but when I saw my son out of the corner of my eye with his hand tucked in his Cars underwear, I almost jumped across the room. And all he had to say in his tiny little 3 year old voice was "look mommy, it's up". Oh dear Jesus! Where's that book of things to say when you've been rendered speechless? I darn near put an entire pack of pull-ups on him and his little pieces were not to be seen again until he was grown.


That instance made me grateful for the time he was looking for his fart, wondering why it smelled like poo, but he couldn't see it. Or the time he tried to put the booger back in his nose because he wanted to save it. The innocence of children is priceless and irreplaceable. Everyday may be the same, but different in it's own little way, but very reliable. I know that every night when I tuck my kids into bed that I get to wake up to their smiling, carefree faces the next morning. So innocent, so filled with love with no motive behind them. I'm so very blessed!

Popping My Blogging Cherry  

Posted by: Crystal in , , , ,

So, here I am jumping on the blogging band wagon. I guess this is what happens when you find yourself eleven days away from your 29th birthday and you still don't know what you want to be when you grow up. That's right people, I'm nearly 29 years old and I'm a stay at home mom and I wake up everyday as Bill Murray stuck in Groundhogs Day. Change kids, feed kids, clean kids, change kids, put kids down for nap, feed kids, clean kids, play with kids, change kids...you get the idea. I do the exact same thing everyday. When I'm really lucky I can actually manage to squeeze in a shower and feel like a real person again.

On those days I find myself daydreaming in the shower of starting my own business. It's always something new and different, never one thing having to do with the last. One day I want to open a wine tasting bar and just yesterday I wanted to go back to my property management roots and open an apartment temp agency which I can run out of my house. Now that I think about it, an apartment temp agency just might run me right into a wine tasting bar.

I love being a stay at home mom, but I'm beginning to feel as though I'm loosing myself. Everything I do, I do for someone else. I know I'm not alone in this, so I'm hoping that in telling my daily doings some of you will relate and share your stories with me as well.